The One-on-One: Part Zero
The One-on-One is the most powerful tool managers have to improve the employee experience.
Unfortunately, most managers don’t know how to use it well. If you, as a manager, dread these conversations, feel like they aren’t useful, wish your team member was more prepared for an agenda that doesn’t exist, or generally get mostly nothing out of this time with your team members:
- It’s not really your fault (you probably learned this from your previous managers).
- You have all the power to fix it.
- I’m gonna help you with that.
The first rule of the one-on-one is this:
Be human.
That’s it.
Make sure your team member understands that you’re a real-live, imperfect, slightly abnormal, unique human being.
Because guess what? So are they.
This approach will transform your conversation, taking it
from:
- a high-anxiety meeting of performance where you are both guessing about how it’s supposed to go and both disappointed in how it turns out
to:
- an enjoyable chat where the two of you get to be humans together and talk about life, work, hopes, and dreams.
But how?
It all starts with you setting the stage.
Say hello. Tell a story. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. Just talk about what you cooked for dinner, especially if you burnt it. About how you were late dropping your kids off to school. About how excited you are about your weekend plans and what it is you plan to do, even if that’s just NOT work.
Then ask a question about their dinner. What’s their favorite restaurant? What’s their least favorite way to spend their weekend? How is their dog? Or kid? Or hobby?
The art of small talk can reduce anxiety and open up the conversation on a very human level. But don’t just talk about the weather.
Make it personal.
This moment will set the stage and the tone for the rest of the meeting. So be calm, be low-pressure and light-hearted, be open and honest and real. And show that’s what you’re looking for from your conversation partner, too.
Next, I’ll be walking you through five questions to ask in every One-on-One. This will make your conversation easy to have, will set you up for success, will empower your team members, and will improve your working relationships as well as your team members’ experience at work. This will show your team how much you really care.
Keep an eye out for my next post in the series, The One-on-One: Part One.
Follow the entire One-on-One Series here.
