The One-on-One: Part One

You can open up your one-on-one with, “So, what have you got for me?” if you’d like to get nothing useful out of your next 30 minutes.

OR, and I would suggest this next part, you can open with a question that not only illuminates something about this person you work with every day, but also makes them feel like you genuinely care about them as a human. (The goal would be that this is already true and this approach will simply help you show it.)

You decide.

There are so many reasons for this being the first question of the one-on-one. We’ll get into them. But first, here it is.

This question is powerful because it opens up a glimpse of who you are talking to. You begin to learn (and mind you, this takes time) what kinds of things get this person out of bed in the morning, what do they look forward to, what lights fire under them? See the short- and long-term benefits of this question below.

Some may struggle answering exactly this question, especially week after week, so you might find it useful to change it up sometimes.

Here are some suggested alternates.

• What brought you joy at work this week?
• What was life-giving at work this week?
• What made you think, WOW, I am glad I was here to help with that!?
• Where did you find your specific skill set, experience, or knowledge fit a situation perfectly?
• When did you feel most in your element this week?

Why does it work?

Short-term Benefits:

• It’s easy to recall something that you loved.
• It’s easy to talk about something you love.
• It opens up the conversation and gets your team member talking.
• Sharing something you love with someone is a way of emotionally connecting with them.
• This kind of connection starts to create trust between two people.
• You asking someone about what they love, listening to their answer, remaining curious, and not being judgmental about it is an excellent way to show genuine care for them.

Long-term Benefits:

• Keeping this conversation going consistently over the long term will make it easy for you to follow up with them week after week.
• Your team member will feel especially cared for if you start partnering with them to find opportunities to increase the things that bring them joy at work.
• They will be happier at work.
• You will build mutual respect and trust.
• You will understand what career path choices might be beneficial or aligned with your team member’s passions and goals.
• Your team member will become more self-aware.
• Your team member will start to understand where to lean into leadership opportunities in their areas of love at work.
• You will learn where you can depend on them to lead.

This is an especially powerful and connecting start to your productive one-on-one conversation. Also, this question easily segues into the next question of the One-on-One.

Look out for my next post in the series, The One-on-One: Part Two.

Follow the entire One-on-One Series here.