The One-on-One: Part Three

We’ve talked about loves and not-so-loves, the joys and the frustrations, we’re digging into learning about each team member in order to partner with them and grow them in the directions they want to progress. We’re helping them identify areas where they could spend time improving on this never-ending journey of development. And we’re learning what they’ve pretty much mastered.

So what’s next?

How will we actively partner with them on their growth journey?

One of the best ways I’ve found is to ask the third question:
What are you learning?

There are so many reasons that I love this question.

First and foremost, by asking what my team member is learning, I am providing a clear expectation that this person is taking time to invest in their own development.

Now, mind you, I don’t leave it at just that — the implied expectation.

In our very first One-on-One, I go over all the questions that I will be asking so that they can be prepared. Some people prefer to answer off the cuff and others want to prepare for the One-on-One, having spent time with the questions before hand. So in our pre-One-on-One conversation, I explicitly state the expectation —

When I ask you the third question, “what are you learning?,“ my expectation is that you are spending time every week investing in your own development.

Then we talk through what exactly that means and how I am going to support that.

1. Dedicate Time.
   It means that you have dedicated time on your calendar every week specifically for development. (It is really rare that a team member will accomplish anything in this area if they aren’t scheduling it as it’s too easy to deprioritize this for other things that inevitably come up. You know what I mean. You do it too!)
2. Protect Your Schedule.
   It means that if the time you have chosen is routinely getting scheduled over, you will let me know so that I can fight those battles for you, making sure others are respecting your calendar or I will brainstorm with you about other, potentially less-conflict-prone times to schedule.
3. Identify Desired Growth Areas.
   It means that you have identified an area in which you want to grow, something you want to learn, a new thing to master. And — and this one surprises most people — I could not care less if what you are learning is directly related to your job. If you want to learn about gardening, or cooking a new cuisine, or knitting, or transmissions… great! There is extensive research out there that shows that any kind of new learning helps our brains remain elastic, helps us learn new things in other areas, helps us problem solve across disciplines. If you really do want to learn something related to your day job, that is also great!
4. Facilitate Relevant Resource Sharing.
   It helps me understand what resources you will be grateful for when I come across something I can share. I love to recommend things that land in my feed, books or articles I’ve read, recipes I’ve tried, etc. But I’ve found that I really only love sharing them when I know the person receiving them will truly benefit — and that means they will appreciate the share — so I make sure I know what it is they WANT, what they will actively invest in, before I share something specific.
5. Recognize Beneficial Training Opportunities.
   It means I will be able to look out for training opportunities for you in addition to being aware of the training opportunities you voice your desire to participate in.
6. Ensure Accountability.
   And finally, it means, I’m going to ask you EVERY week what you are doing to invest in your own development. I will call you out on it if you are brushing off this expectation. I will look at your calendar with you. I will make you tell me what block is reserved for this. I will, in fact, hound you if needed. But most of the time, team members are just so grateful that I require them to focus in this area that they don’t need reminding very often!

It’s important to remember that our growth and development is never singularly focused. Team members will very often want to learn something NOT necessarily related to their job or their career growth while also having something specific they want to work on for their next career move. Keeping these conversations out in the open also helps you as their manager be looking for opportunities for them. It helps them to know they can be open and honest with you about moving to a different role, team, opportunity, even organization. And it helps you know how to best support them.

Certainly you don’t want to lose them. But I can tell you from experience that people will be FAR less likely to leave an environment where their growth and development is being prioritized and partnered for success versus an environment where they don’t feel comfortable expressing their desires for growth because their leadership feels threatened by the possibility of them jumping ship.

So, back to what I love about this question, ’cause I wasn’t done 😂

As mentioned, it provides clear expectations. Additionally, it is an EXCELLENT opportunity for you as a manager to prove that you have been actively listening and are able to respond to responses from the first two questions! If I know what my team member loves, I know what lights their fire, and I know what is frustrating for them or difficult for them, I can more easily help steer them to ways to focus on what brings them joy, or ways to use their strengths to compensate for weaker areas. Because answering the question “What are you learning” is a great natural segue into:

• What do you want to learn?
• I’ve noticed this strength, how are you intentionally honing that?
• You mentioned not feeling equipped in this situation, how do you think we can cater your personal learning time to help with this?

And, I know I’ve already touched on this, but it’s worth calling out on its own — how you respond to this question, this opportunity to develop your team member, is one of the best ways to build trust. If you are actively investing in your team member, listening to them and helping them on THEIR journey, not just providing the blanket response or resources others always provide, they will recognize very quickly that you genuinely care about them as a unique individual and a whole person, not just a cog in a wheel of a giant machine, but rather as a human who is co-working on your team for the time being. A human with other aspects of their existence like family responsibilities, personal desires and goals, unique interests, quirks, and pet peeves. A whole person who you get the joy of interacting with regularly for a portion of their week on this journey of life. This trust is what will enhance every One-on-One conversation for the duration of your time working together.

Stick around for The One-on-One: Part Four. We’re getting closer to the end of this exercise, and I can’t wait to share more with you.

Follow the entire One-on-One Series here.