Scrap the One-on-One Agenda & Use Just This Question

I know, I know… I’ve just spent all this time telling you the exact template you should be using for more effective One-on-Ones and now I’m telling you to throw it out the window.

Stay with me, though. You’ll see why.

Every once in a while, you really need to change up the conversation. Or, maybe there’s a time when your One-on-One gets cut short by other meetings or responsibilities (try to avoid this as much as possible, but it’s inevitably going to happen sometimes).

Now, I suggest not taking this route at the beginning of your working relationship with a team member. Wait until you’ve established trust. This way, they know, when you are this direct, you really want to know the answer and you really will follow up.

So here it is, the question to cover all questions:

All right, I cheated. It’s two questions…

Do you feel like you have everything you need to show up as your best self at work every day? If not, what needs to change for that to be true?

Ultimately, all the work we’ve been putting in to the One-on-One up to this point has been to create conditions, an environment, for your team members that is ideal for them to thrive. This looks different for each individual, so it’s not about the physical surroundings, but rather about the attention, the resources, the relationships, etc. So if you’re putting in all the work together to make this happen, it’s important to step back sometimes and figure out what might be getting left out. What are we missing? What have we not uncovered? Do you have EVERYTHING you need to be your BEST self at work every day?

This goes back to what we talked about with Question 2, how each of us knows ourselves better than anyone else does. So if I, as the recipient of this question, know I’m not living up to my best potential, that there is an area where I could be contributing and really shining but I have never thought about mentioning it, this is a great place for that surface. Or, if there’s still something hindering me from being excellent in a particular area of my job but I haven’t thought to ask for training yet, this is a great way to uncover that. Or, if I’ve been in my current role long enough to know it’s really not a good long term fit for me, having built trust with my manager, this could be a welcoming question to be able to broach that subject.

This question is also one that can help individuals who have felt excluded or marginalized be bold enough to speak up about their experiences. We all really do want to be our best selves at work. But not everyone experiences environments where they believe it is safe to do so. They may have been told in the past (whether verbally, directly, indirectly, or through other behaviors) that their true self, their whole self, is really not welcomed at work, or in a specific team, or at a particular organization. Having built a relationship with your team member, they may feel emboldened to share some of these experiences with you and help you understand that there’s still a gap to be closed in your current team, or department, or organization.

This is a huge gift for you as a leader and gives you an opportunity to dig into how to improve the situation for one person. And, great news, when we improve the working situation for any one marginalized individual, it actually improves the environment for the whole team.

So buckle up if you’re going with this question, and be ready for any response that may come your way. If your team member honestly answers this question, you know you’re making great progress on building a healthy, trusting partnership to continue working together and achieving big things.

Follow my entire One-on-One Series for more!